He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
