I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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