Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
