dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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