Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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