it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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