That's intense
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
