did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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