Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
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