I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
