I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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