He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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