Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
