Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
