Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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