I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
