Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Someone signed my nipple.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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