walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
