i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
