I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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