I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize