So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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