very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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