So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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