The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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