He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
