so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
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I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
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I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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