what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
