walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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