Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
