Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I love having hate sex.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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