why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
