this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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