it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
