Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
