i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
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Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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