Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
