dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
