Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
