so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
