Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
