I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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