If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
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He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
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Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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