wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
