the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She even gives head with a lisp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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