feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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