theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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