considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize