My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
