It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
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She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
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Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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