he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
