Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
