Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize