i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
