she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
