I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
