Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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